The Bible Should Be Taught in School

I was looking for my Bible this weekend because I have been toying with the idea of putting together my own audio version of the Book of Revelations. I can’t find the thing though – I haven’t been able to find it for months. It’s not the biggest deal in the world – I have plenty of other books that mean as much or more to me than the Holy Bible – but to not have a Bible is a glaring omission in any decent library.

Those of you who know me well know that I am not a religious person. I was raised by a family of “non-practicing Presbyterians,” the kind of family who shows up in church on the major religious holidays, and is always eternally grateful to be driving out of that strange, uncomfortable setting at the end of the service. I never read a single word of the good Book when I was a child. The only reason I ever picked up a Bible was because one of my literary heroes, the late great Hunter S. Thompson, mentioned that often when he was in hotel rooms he would pick up the Gideon Bible and thumb through the Book of Revelations. He mentions that he was enamored of the vivid, wild language of that particular book – it is a major mind-trip.

It is ridiculous that the Bible is not taught, in a literary manner, in our public schools. The idea that teaching the literary aspects of the Bible in school is the equivalent of promoting a particular religious belief is preposterous – it’s similar to suggesting that if I were to read the Odyssey I might suddenly start bowing down to Athena. Hey, stranger things have happened – but these are literary works of such extreme importance they cannot simply be shoved aside. What I mean is, you can’t claim to be a learned person if you don’t have a basic understanding of the stories enmeshed in the Bible. Genesis alone contains several of the stories that form a cornerstone of literature: Adam and Eve, Noah’s Ark, The Tower of Babel, Cain and Abel… These stories have been re-told and re-packaged throughout our literary history. When you are watching James Dean in Steinbeck’s “East of Eden” you’re seeing a modern re-telling of the story of Cain and Abel.

You’ve got to know the roots of the thing. It’s hard not to laugh when you hear someone re-telling a re-tell – when you know they don’t know the real, underlying root of the story. We get that a lot these days in this post-modern era because, let’s face it, post-modernism grants a lot of artistic license to people who may not really know how to drive. I suppose sometimes artistic naivety can lead to some nice finished products, but to my mind the artist who understands the layers and history that lead to today’s stroke on the canvas has a better chance of creating an enduring and complex piece of art; a piece that is going to draw the viewers in for reasons they may not even understand.

The Erin Andrews Controversy

So I guess some pervert used a “peephole camera” to take nude video footage of popular ESPN sportscaster Erin Andrews. That’s a big deal – but it wasn’t as big a deal as it has become until every major network started running this bit of criminal titillation as a feature story – along with excerpts from the leaked video. I wonder how Ms. Andrews feels about that? Its one thing to have someone videotape you unaware and post it onto the internet – but quite another to see the same footage being run prominently on the national news casts! Oh, but the networks all blurred out Andrews’ naughty bits – so I guess that makes it okay.

Of course as a result of all the national media attention the story has snowballed or “gone viral” as the kids like to say. The most popular search on Google the other day was “Erin Andrews Peephole Video.” Wow – entertaining and educational.

Things I Never Thought I’d Say…

Folks seriously, we are crossing a line here. When I am saying people are getting too pervy, then you know things are getting weird. Looking at these pictures and watching this video, just because it is there, is a violation of a person’s privacy. This isn’t a sex tape that was willingly made by the participants – and even those leaked tapes pose an ethical dilemma. This, the Erin Andrews tape, is a completely criminal act because Andrews is completely non-complicit. Watching this tape is watching, and by proxy participating in, a sexual assault. It is a complete abdication of morality in exchange for a cheap thrill.

madbob@madbob.com

Banks and Battery of the Soul

Shake it off – get back in there – give it all you got! Alright; I will. Here goes nothing. These days I have been shaking off body blows and head shots right and left. Life just seems to be landing upper-cut after body blow after jab and my arms are spaghetti noodles; flailing ineffectively against a vicious, proficient opponent who will not let up. It’s nothing specific – nothing I can put my finger on. Maybe it’s the continued economic crisis wearing on my brain. Maybe it’s the personal financial crisis I’ve been enmeshed in for the last 20 years. Maybe its middle-age closing in on me, or maybe it’s just the damned vibrations screwing with my molecular being. Who knows? Not me.

Believe it or Not! Bank Shows Profit!

Goldman-Sachs is showing a record profit – 33% increase over the quarter before. It’s all the rage in the economic and national news these days. I’ve heard two very distinct points of view on that situation. The first, optimistic, take on the success of Goldman-Sachs is that the profits are a result of hard work, incredible talent, and a clear vision for the future. The second, more cynical argument I’ve heard is that Goldman-Sachs’ profits are built on the back of cheap money doled out in the midst of the taxpayer funded bank bail-out, the elimination of key Goldman-Sachs competitors, and the favorable treatment of Goldman-Sachs at the hands of former company employees and current loyalists who are strategically positioned within the government regulatory structure. Frankly both positions sound credible to me. I lean towards the cynicism, but I’m so damned desperate for good news these days that I’m inclined to give Goldman-Sachs the benefit of the doubt and say “good job!” I’m tired and out of it though, and I reserve the right to change my mind without notice.

Lost – One Mojo

The synapses are just not firing today. Actually if I think back on it they haven’t been active for months now; lazy, beaten, defeated. The walls look a little too familiar, the food tastes bland, internet pornography doesn’t get me off like it used to. What is going on around here? Have a lost my mojo? Where do I even start looking for the damned stuff? Maybe I’ll put an ad up on Craig’s list and see what bites…

Lost – Mojo – If you have seen it, please let me know where to start looking for it. Appreciate it – Bob

Something like that. Craig’s List – killing print media since 2000-something. Who knew the Achilles heel of the entire newspaper industry was the classified advertising? It makes sense. Do the rise of Craig’s List and the fall of print media signify something grander? Is it true democracy, or anarchy, wrenching control away from the capitalists? Is Craig’s List a socialist endeavor? What does Obama think of all this? Sotomayor?

Oh well, about face, shift gears… My head feels like a brick, my stomach is knotted, my teeth ache. Large sections of this column may not be suitable for younger readers. That’s a disclaimer I just heard on the radio – slightly reworded – I should probably always include that in front of the column.

Vows of Silence

Today I was thinking about joining a monastery when a co-worker came into my office and asked how I thought he could go about joining a monastery. I guess it’s in the air these days. The rat race just isn’t cutting it for a lot of us anymore – racing is no fun when you never win. You know that the average Goldman-Sachs employee makes a little over $900,000 annually? Nine hundred thousand dollars. Can you believe that? It’s obscene – and that’s the average. Some of those folks make a lot more than that.

Smoke and spandex and dead eyes… Sometimes I miss the darkness, city nights, sleaze and scum. A recent sojourn down to the Bay Area reminded me of the days I used to roam the streets of San Francisco, drinking regularly in the Irish bars and sleeping with the windows open. The air there is so clean. Except maybe for the Sierra Mountain air I think the air in San Francisco is the cleanest, clearest air I have ever breathed.

My elbow still smarts from a bicycle accident I suffered over a week ago. The soda I am drinking coats my throat and soothes my stomach but my teeth still hurt.

I think tonight I’m going to take a long bath and read Herman Hesse’s Siddhartha for the umpteenth time. That book is a good one for soothing the soul.

madbob@madbob.com

Famous Last Words

"I am about to -- or I am going to -- die: either expression is correct."

~~ Dominique Bouhours, French grammarian, d. 1702

Thought on Health Care from Jerry Springer - 2004

“Here’s what’s stupid… rich people can already afford anything they want to buy. Do you think if I get a check in the mail suddenly I’m going to buy something? If I want something now I’ll go out and buy it! Don’t give me the money. Take that money and make sure that every citizen of the United States of America has health insurance.”

-Jerry Springer on health care…

The Itch

I have got the itch right now. No, seriously; I managed to acquire a good dose of poison oak while I was helping Trish to tend some goats out on the Butte College Campus. I haven’t had poison oak in years, probably decades. I’m lucky in that I don’t get it that bad, but I’ve got it. There is an angry pink rash on my belly, on both wrists, and I managed to get a nice swatch of it on my face – right across the eyes – so I look either perpetually tired, acne-scarred, or as though I suffered some blows in a recent punch-up. I honestly don’t mind the poison oak though; the itching is vaguely entertaining. I don’t know why that is.

Understanding the Bass Frequency

Lower frequencies, like the sound of a booming bass, generate longer sound waves. These longer sound waves travel much greater distances and maintain their volume for a much greater duration than do the shorter sound waves generated by higher frequencies. Elephants can communicate over great distances by generating sub-sonic sound waves. The longer amplitude of lower frequency sound waves explain why, as you move away from a band playing music, or a blaring stereo, the vocals and the guitars tend to drop out and eventually you are left only with the constant thumping of the kick drum. Most people understand this intuitively and, in consideration of their neighbors, will make a point of keeping their stereo turned down low and the bass frequency rolled off; most people, but not everyone. Similarly most people have an intuitive understanding of the ‘cause and effect’ nature of our existence – a basic understanding that the energy we release into the universe is ultimately directed back towards us. Most people understand this; but not everyone. I really wish everyone understood this – it would make life run a little smoother.

Reluctant Proponent of Law

I’ve come to realize over time that I am not the anti-social being I once considered myself. My goal is not to disrupt the peaceful existence of others. In fact, I have come to a firm belief in a system of social conventions, and written or unwritten rules and considerations, in place to lubricate the wheels of society; and to keep us all from wanting to cause violent harm to one another. I believe in leash laws, noise ordinances, and good solid fencing. I feel like these kinds of laws have become the lesser of evils. The idealistic anarchist in me believes we should not need leash laws or noise ordinances – because ultimately we should all have such a strong sense of personal responsibility, accountability, and general common sense, that there would be no need for laws. Unfortunately, the pragmatist in me cannot ignore the fact that there is a painfully vocal minority that seems to actively refuse acceptance of any semblance of personal accountability. I don’t know if these people didn’t get enough attention as a child, or if they were spoiled rotten, or if they were just never imbued with a sense of social responsibility – but whatever the reason may be, the fact seems to be that there is a handful of people whose actions and behavior are so socially aberrant, that it demands we generate an ever-growing list of laws and rules.

It’s a damned shame really. Most of us are screwed by the actions of a few. Of course this is a trend history bares out again and again.

Health Care on the Fast Track

The Democrats are working double-time to try and pass some sort of health care legislation before a scheduled upcoming summer break. Does anyone else find it completely bizarre just how many vacations our politicians get? I finally worked in my job long enough to get a measly 10 days off – and our work schedule holds another 10 planned holidays. That’s it. The men and women who my taxes pay for would scoff at my piddly vacation schedule. I digress.

Trish and I were talking about the Democratic health plan and essentially we came to the conclusion that neither one of us has a clue as to what the health plan actually entails. Our ignorance aside; it seems like the politicians are moving forward so quickly on it that we have serious doubts as to whether they know just what it is they are actually cobbling together.

If You’re not Outraged…

Then I just have one more thing to mention in this column: the California state budget. The internet term “WTF?!?” comes to mind. At this point it is just an accepted fact that the budget will always be late. What a joke. Dear state legislators, give the money back. Really, what do we need these people for? I could successfully not draft a budget and then go on vacation. In fact, I’d probably be really good at that. Hmmm…



madbob@madbob.com