I wish I had a pencil-thin mustache…
So with the encouragement of my wife I have cut my facial hair into the classic pencil-thin Errol Flynn style mustache. My facial hair is lighter – more red than brown – so it doesn’t show up as good as say a jet black pinner might but you get the idea. It’s like a skinny little caterpillar perched on the upper rim of my lip. I like it. I shaved my beard into the pimp stash this morning and promptly ran a red light on the way to work. Then I started to notice something. Other guys with the same style mustache were smiling at me from their cars. And they were strange cars – primer gray gremlins and half-way restored Rancheros. Most of them wore their pimp stashes better than I am wearing mine but they’ve likely been at it longer and they all seem to cut me some slack.
I passed a mother and daughter. The young girl started crying and the mother’s mouth dropped open in horror as she tried to shield her child’s innocent eyes from my clearly experienced lip. I sneered and hit the gas. Is it me or does my truck’s engine sound a little beefier today? Not to mention my trousers aren’t fitting properly – they’ve become seriously tight in the crotch-region.
Throughout the day I notice this peculiar phenomenon. Out of four women three are mortified by my facial doo. No matter – clearly for those confident enough to sport the pimp stash it’s the fourth woman that interests them. Something like melting happens. These “fourth women” have dyed hair, tattoos, dark sunglasses and no bras. They wear tight jeans and short skirts, tank tops and tube tops. They are always looking for a good time and now I’m in their club. It makes me feel a little dirty and I like it.
Look for more about the exploits of me and my furry new friend in up-coming columns.
Death and Taxes
It’s that time of year ago when the land of the living and the land of the dead are in close proximity. We can see it in the trees and in the harvest. I dreamed last night of a friend of mine who passed away a little less than a year ago. He looked good – well nourished and thick. He said things in the dream that I’d never heard before but that seemed authentic. Towards the end of our conversation I broke down and hugged him and told him how much I missed him and then he was gone and I found myself staring up at the stars in the clear fall sky. Then I experienced a strange feeling of emptiness and content. How can you have both? Maybe someday I’ll get to ask the Buddha or wise King Solomon that question. Maybe someday I won’t care what the answer is.
In addition to communing with the dead and reaping the last fruits of our harvest it is also once again for us to pay our taxes. You don’t want to jump into those things too early. The reality of it is we’ve already paid the taxes anyway and we’ve only procrastinated in getting our refund. I feel like I’m doing my part as a patriot by lagging on collecting my refund and letting the Government accrue the interest for an extra six months. The way our government’s fiscal house is starting to crumble they need it more than the next guy!
Art Rocks!
We had the opportunity to play at another of the on-going Crux event Art Rock. These inter-active happenings combine live music with the creation of art. Basically you can show up and paint, draw, sculpt, whatever medium you work in, while a local band or musician performs accompanying music for your inspiration. It is really an amazing thing to be a part of and I fully encourage anyone with the impetus to get out there and be a part of this unique event. My understanding is that the Crux holds these gatherings every Friday and then whatever comes out of the Friday night session is displayed in the gallery for the Art Walk that takes place the next day. The Crux is located on Broadway across the street from Nobby’s and the Off Limits.
The Pimp Stash Strikes Again!
Well a particularly cute little red-head is vying for the attention of my new lip adornment so I’m wrapping this up as quick as I can. More exploits of the pimp stash as they transpire. Have a great week – I know I will.
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Opening the Door to Evil
War opens doors to evil. Events transpire in wartime that the human psyche is just not equipped to deal with. Or maybe it’s equipped to deal with it all too well. You do have to figure that our ancestors saw their fair share of blood and guts. But war – this kind of war we’re involved in now. We’re killing people we don’t understand for reasons we don’t understand. It has become so abstracted. A threat to the United States doesn’t mean a threat to the lives and limbs of Americans. Now the threat of economic instability, or a threat to out financial superiority over the rest of the world, constitutes a threat to the United States of America. We are basically involved in a horrifying worldwide version of “King of the Hill,” a kindergartener’s game. There’s only one thing I know about King of the Hill, eventually the king gets toppled. That’s just the way it is.
Football Season
The Bi-Polar Nation
Football season is upon us once again. It’s a fun time for some and a frustrating time for others. I fall into the later camp – I’m a Raider fan. I’ve been a fan of the silver and black since the early 1970’s – back when Kenny “The Snake” Stabler was the quarterback and Dave “The Ghost” Caspar played tight end. I used to have a pint-sized Raider uniform - #12 – and I still have a pennant from the Super Bowl Oakland won back in early 1977.
I watched in despair when enigmatic (some might say insane) owner Al Davis moved the team from Oakland to Los Angeles and then cheered when the team moved back. Now I have mixed feeling as to whether that was a good or a bad thing for Oakland or any other city involved in Davis’ shenanigans. Aside from a run at the Super Bowl a few years back when the team had their asses handed to them by former coach John Gruden and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers the team’s been pretty dismal for the last several seasons and an opening season loss to Detroit at home is not making me feel overly optimistic for this season’s prospects either.
Who knows – being an Oakland fan is like having self-inflicted manic depression for sixteen weeks out of the year. It’s just baffling but I’ve said before that it is a good metaphor for life. Basically you have this crazy guy in a white jumpsuit sitting up in the skybox making decisions you can’t even begin to understand and all you can do is just watch and keep your fingers crossed that somehow, eventually, things will work out.
Gordo Gets a Face-Lift
The outdoor fireplace I built last year has undergone some serious repairs and renovation over the course of the summer. I finally have the structural work done and I am now in the process of applying a mosaic tile finish to the beast. My fingers are riddled with tiny little slices from handling the jagged shards of broken tile but I am feeling good about it. I think Gordo will look really nice when it’s all done. Then it will be interesting to see how well the tile holds up once we start burning everything we can fit into the fireplace.
The September Report on Iraq
General Patreaus finally gave his much anticipated remarks regarding the on-going war in Iraq. I have to say I am severely disappointed in MoveOn.org and a number of ranking democrats for questioning Patreaus’ character. MoveOn.org is running a snide campaign calling the General “General Betray-us.” I think there are better tactics to take than questioning the character of a 4-star general who has devoted his entire career to serving his country in uniform. Until this report came out General Patreaus was respected and confirmed by politicians from both sides of the aisle. Now that his report doesn’t say what some would like it to say they question the General on his autonomy, judgment, and integrity. I think it is an unfortunate attack that will only serve to more clearly polarize and stifle any meaningful debate.
Don’t get me wrong, I think our foreign policy over the last seven years has been disastrous and I don’t think it has strengthened our position in the world. But extremists on both sides have to understand that lapsing into name-calling and grand-standing only detracts from whatever arguments they are trying to make. If one is preaching to the choir and that’s all they’re concerned with then by all means – name call and use the ultra-partisan rhetoric. But if one wants to win people over to their cause then they need to be respectful of their opposition’s ideas.
Migration
I caught my first glimpse of some migratory birds making their ways north as autumn looms and winter is just around the corner. I don’t know if they were geese or swans and I’ve only seen one formation of these birds thus far. That and some of our Japanese maples are just starting to turn from green to red and orange. The days are growing shorter and it’s getting harder to get out of bed in the morning regardless of how much sleep I’m getting. So I’m thinking fall is here and winter is just around the corner. I’ll let you know how the fireplace holds up after the first decent rain-storm.
Football season is upon us once again. It’s a fun time for some and a frustrating time for others. I fall into the later camp – I’m a Raider fan. I’ve been a fan of the silver and black since the early 1970’s – back when Kenny “The Snake” Stabler was the quarterback and Dave “The Ghost” Caspar played tight end. I used to have a pint-sized Raider uniform - #12 – and I still have a pennant from the Super Bowl Oakland won back in early 1977.
I watched in despair when enigmatic (some might say insane) owner Al Davis moved the team from Oakland to Los Angeles and then cheered when the team moved back. Now I have mixed feeling as to whether that was a good or a bad thing for Oakland or any other city involved in Davis’ shenanigans. Aside from a run at the Super Bowl a few years back when the team had their asses handed to them by former coach John Gruden and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers the team’s been pretty dismal for the last several seasons and an opening season loss to Detroit at home is not making me feel overly optimistic for this season’s prospects either.
Who knows – being an Oakland fan is like having self-inflicted manic depression for sixteen weeks out of the year. It’s just baffling but I’ve said before that it is a good metaphor for life. Basically you have this crazy guy in a white jumpsuit sitting up in the skybox making decisions you can’t even begin to understand and all you can do is just watch and keep your fingers crossed that somehow, eventually, things will work out.
Gordo Gets a Face-Lift
The outdoor fireplace I built last year has undergone some serious repairs and renovation over the course of the summer. I finally have the structural work done and I am now in the process of applying a mosaic tile finish to the beast. My fingers are riddled with tiny little slices from handling the jagged shards of broken tile but I am feeling good about it. I think Gordo will look really nice when it’s all done. Then it will be interesting to see how well the tile holds up once we start burning everything we can fit into the fireplace.
The September Report on Iraq
General Patreaus finally gave his much anticipated remarks regarding the on-going war in Iraq. I have to say I am severely disappointed in MoveOn.org and a number of ranking democrats for questioning Patreaus’ character. MoveOn.org is running a snide campaign calling the General “General Betray-us.” I think there are better tactics to take than questioning the character of a 4-star general who has devoted his entire career to serving his country in uniform. Until this report came out General Patreaus was respected and confirmed by politicians from both sides of the aisle. Now that his report doesn’t say what some would like it to say they question the General on his autonomy, judgment, and integrity. I think it is an unfortunate attack that will only serve to more clearly polarize and stifle any meaningful debate.
Don’t get me wrong, I think our foreign policy over the last seven years has been disastrous and I don’t think it has strengthened our position in the world. But extremists on both sides have to understand that lapsing into name-calling and grand-standing only detracts from whatever arguments they are trying to make. If one is preaching to the choir and that’s all they’re concerned with then by all means – name call and use the ultra-partisan rhetoric. But if one wants to win people over to their cause then they need to be respectful of their opposition’s ideas.
Migration
I caught my first glimpse of some migratory birds making their ways north as autumn looms and winter is just around the corner. I don’t know if they were geese or swans and I’ve only seen one formation of these birds thus far. That and some of our Japanese maples are just starting to turn from green to red and orange. The days are growing shorter and it’s getting harder to get out of bed in the morning regardless of how much sleep I’m getting. So I’m thinking fall is here and winter is just around the corner. I’ll let you know how the fireplace holds up after the first decent rain-storm.
The Summer of Petty Jealousy
This summer marks the 30th anniversary of the legendary “Summer of Love” and everywhere I turn, from the pages of Rolling Stone Magazine, to the hippy burn-out living in a van parked in my alley-way, somebody wants to tell me how great the 60’s were. And I don’t doubt it – the advent of the birth control pill and LSD at precisely the same cosmic moment. An unpopular war being telecast every night and uniting a whole generation of long-haired pot smokers with slogans like “turn on, tune in, drop out,” and “be here now.” Experimental drugs, experimental music, experimental sex. It sounds like a day-glo nightmare or a psychedelic paradise depending on your point of view. And I’m jealous. I’m not too big to admit it. I am jealous as hell of the people who got to come of age in such a revolutionary era.
I’m also sick of hearing about it. Because look, when the summer of love happened I was four years away from existing. I was born in 1971 – the summer of rock-stars dropping dead from overdoses and the free clinics filling up with tweakers and syphilis patients.
Some people love to hear stories about that magical time that was the 1960’s. I came of age in the 1980’s. No one has ever asked me to regale them with stories about the 1980’s. It seems to be a natural phenomenon that people always want to tell you that life was better when they were young but kids I am here to say that if anyone tries to tell you that the 1980’s were better than today they are full of shit. The 1980’s stunk on ice. We had Nancy Reagan telling everyone to say “NO” to drugs while Ronald Reagan cut the funding for all mental patients except those who would pose a physical threat of violence if they were released from their asylums. Meanwhile while the Gipper could not be bothered to show compassion to our most vulnerable citizens he was perfectly willing to spend trillions of dollars on a nuclear arsenal capable of blowing up the world 250 times over. In an ironic twist of fate Reagan cut federal funding for Alzheimer’s research. Today people credit Reagan with winning the Cold War. You’ve got to hand it to him, he had good timing. But what do you expect? He was an actor. The Soviet Union collapsed inward because of corruption. It would have happened eventually no matter who was in office. Aside from that today Russia views the United States as its number one threat so as far as I can tell the Cold War is still set on simmer. We just had a fun little artificial celebration there.
We had AIDS so that was fun. Now not only could drugs kill you but so could sex. Ridiculous. The kids from the 60’s get free love and my generation gets death. Cold sores and crabs just weren’t good enough I guess. We still have AIDS now but for some reason it doesn’t seem like as big of a deal. It know it still is but I’m telling you in the 1980’s it was like “if you get laid you’re gonna die!” As if me and my high-school hacky-sacking buddies needed help not scoring with the ladies.
And the music – Motley Crue, Iron Maiden, old Metallica. Well alright, the music was bitching! But what about all that other crap? OMD, The Thompson Twins, Depeche Mode? Yuck. The 80’s were definitely a confusing time.
Talk about confusing though – I’ve never seen anything as completely befuddling as the 2000’s. It’s hard to even figure out what to call it. The 00’s? The “oughts?” I don’t know. But here we have a war – a full-on blood and guts war with hundreds of people being blown apart every single day. But the news won’t show it and the government won’t make us pay for it so for a lot of the folks at home it’s just life as usual. A handful of citizens are shouldering the entire burden of what has been called by our commander in chief the defining struggle of our lifetime. As a result there is no cohesive anti-war movement and that is no accident. Most of the people in power today were in power when Vietnam was raging and they’ve learned how not to make those mistakes again.
The reason the 60’s stands alone as such a wondrous and fascinating time is because the 60’s ended. The powers that be crushed the dawning Age of Aquarius and the work and change that had begun was not completed. The promise of peace was broken. Ideals were sold out. It’s been 30 years since the Summer of Love – since as a culture we turned our back on war. People joined together in peace and love. So why are we still allowing wars to be fought on our watch?
I’m also sick of hearing about it. Because look, when the summer of love happened I was four years away from existing. I was born in 1971 – the summer of rock-stars dropping dead from overdoses and the free clinics filling up with tweakers and syphilis patients.
Some people love to hear stories about that magical time that was the 1960’s. I came of age in the 1980’s. No one has ever asked me to regale them with stories about the 1980’s. It seems to be a natural phenomenon that people always want to tell you that life was better when they were young but kids I am here to say that if anyone tries to tell you that the 1980’s were better than today they are full of shit. The 1980’s stunk on ice. We had Nancy Reagan telling everyone to say “NO” to drugs while Ronald Reagan cut the funding for all mental patients except those who would pose a physical threat of violence if they were released from their asylums. Meanwhile while the Gipper could not be bothered to show compassion to our most vulnerable citizens he was perfectly willing to spend trillions of dollars on a nuclear arsenal capable of blowing up the world 250 times over. In an ironic twist of fate Reagan cut federal funding for Alzheimer’s research. Today people credit Reagan with winning the Cold War. You’ve got to hand it to him, he had good timing. But what do you expect? He was an actor. The Soviet Union collapsed inward because of corruption. It would have happened eventually no matter who was in office. Aside from that today Russia views the United States as its number one threat so as far as I can tell the Cold War is still set on simmer. We just had a fun little artificial celebration there.
We had AIDS so that was fun. Now not only could drugs kill you but so could sex. Ridiculous. The kids from the 60’s get free love and my generation gets death. Cold sores and crabs just weren’t good enough I guess. We still have AIDS now but for some reason it doesn’t seem like as big of a deal. It know it still is but I’m telling you in the 1980’s it was like “if you get laid you’re gonna die!” As if me and my high-school hacky-sacking buddies needed help not scoring with the ladies.
And the music – Motley Crue, Iron Maiden, old Metallica. Well alright, the music was bitching! But what about all that other crap? OMD, The Thompson Twins, Depeche Mode? Yuck. The 80’s were definitely a confusing time.
Talk about confusing though – I’ve never seen anything as completely befuddling as the 2000’s. It’s hard to even figure out what to call it. The 00’s? The “oughts?” I don’t know. But here we have a war – a full-on blood and guts war with hundreds of people being blown apart every single day. But the news won’t show it and the government won’t make us pay for it so for a lot of the folks at home it’s just life as usual. A handful of citizens are shouldering the entire burden of what has been called by our commander in chief the defining struggle of our lifetime. As a result there is no cohesive anti-war movement and that is no accident. Most of the people in power today were in power when Vietnam was raging and they’ve learned how not to make those mistakes again.
The reason the 60’s stands alone as such a wondrous and fascinating time is because the 60’s ended. The powers that be crushed the dawning Age of Aquarius and the work and change that had begun was not completed. The promise of peace was broken. Ideals were sold out. It’s been 30 years since the Summer of Love – since as a culture we turned our back on war. People joined together in peace and love. So why are we still allowing wars to be fought on our watch?
The Law
Death for Adultery
The human rights community is up in arms over the recent stoning to death of an Iranian man in punishment for the crime of adultery. The woman involved in the crime is also scheduled to be stoned to death but activists are scrambling to head-off the execution.
Everybody Must Get Stoned
Stoning as a sentence is some old school punishment that dates back to the wonderfully harsh Old Testament. The actual procedure involves burying the victim to their waist in the sand and then pelting them with stones that are picked to be small enough that they will not immediately render the victim unconscious or dead but large enough to cause damage and death over time. An incredibly lingering and painful death is thus ensured. Stoning as a sentence is typically meted out for the charge of adultery. They take their extramarital nookie very seriously over their in parts of the Middle East.
Death for Accepting Bribes
Zheng Xiayu, the head of China’s food and drug watchdog group was executed last Tuesday for taking bribes to approve a series of bad antibiotics that resulted in the death of many Chinese citizens. China is in the midst of a very interesting period right now. They have become a viable world economic power almost overnight and as a result a society that was once very closed and a government that is still very top-heavy and not exactly democratic by Canadian standards is being forced to adjust on the fly. Personally I think Xiayu was more or less caught in the lurch. Ten years ago a government official taking bribes at the expense of the lives of Chinese citizens would probably not have raised an eyebrow. Today the people are demanding greater accountability from their government officials and Xiayu has become an example of this phenomenon.
Good News From the Middle East
What? No way. Yeah really. BBC reporter Alan Jonhston has been released after being held for 114 days in the Gaza strip.
Israeli cabinet agrees to Prisoner Release
In a move designed to bolster support for Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas the Israeli government has agreed to release 250 Palestinian prisoners. This only makes sense. I mean, come on, governments can’t just grab people off the streets and inter them indefinitely without any charges being filed or granting the prisoners access to legal representation and a fair trial. Right? They can’t, can they? I mean, what civilized nation in the year 2007 would do such a thing?
Meanwhile Back in the U.K.
Metallica front-man/hellion James Hetfield was detained by airport security for wearing a “Taliban-esque” beard. Reminds me of a column Maxim once ran called “Bum or Rock-Star” in which photographs of famous rock musicians were juxtaposed with photographs of homeless people.
Meanwhile Back in America
Well if you didn’t already know it Alberto Gonzalez, the U.S. Attorney General and George W. Bush’s favorite bed-buddy, is a liar. In the latest blow to his already shaky (maybe non-existent is a better word) credibility it has been revealed that only days before testifying that there had been no verified civil rights violations Gonzales had indeed reviewed memos detailing abuses. The highest attorney in the land has again utilized the slippery double-speak of the Bush administration to try and worm out from under the charges. And these guys accused Clinton of being slippery. At least Bill was better at it.
The Law Comes to Chico
And right here in our own sleepy little berg it’s been decided that we need more law in order to regulate, of all things, mosh pits and parties. A new ordinance has already been passed giving police more authority to quell aggressive parties and an ordinance regulating slam-dancing is being considered by the council.
Death of an Anarchist
I used to fancy myself a bit of an anarchist but lately I have to admit I’ve changed my tune. Over the course of the past year I have been exposed to a portion of that minor percentage of the population for which the bulk of laws are created - assholes. I’ve simply run across too many assholes who, were there no laws, would wreck it for the rest of us. Thanks a lot jerks.
The human rights community is up in arms over the recent stoning to death of an Iranian man in punishment for the crime of adultery. The woman involved in the crime is also scheduled to be stoned to death but activists are scrambling to head-off the execution.
Everybody Must Get Stoned
Stoning as a sentence is some old school punishment that dates back to the wonderfully harsh Old Testament. The actual procedure involves burying the victim to their waist in the sand and then pelting them with stones that are picked to be small enough that they will not immediately render the victim unconscious or dead but large enough to cause damage and death over time. An incredibly lingering and painful death is thus ensured. Stoning as a sentence is typically meted out for the charge of adultery. They take their extramarital nookie very seriously over their in parts of the Middle East.
Death for Accepting Bribes
Zheng Xiayu, the head of China’s food and drug watchdog group was executed last Tuesday for taking bribes to approve a series of bad antibiotics that resulted in the death of many Chinese citizens. China is in the midst of a very interesting period right now. They have become a viable world economic power almost overnight and as a result a society that was once very closed and a government that is still very top-heavy and not exactly democratic by Canadian standards is being forced to adjust on the fly. Personally I think Xiayu was more or less caught in the lurch. Ten years ago a government official taking bribes at the expense of the lives of Chinese citizens would probably not have raised an eyebrow. Today the people are demanding greater accountability from their government officials and Xiayu has become an example of this phenomenon.
Good News From the Middle East
What? No way. Yeah really. BBC reporter Alan Jonhston has been released after being held for 114 days in the Gaza strip.
Israeli cabinet agrees to Prisoner Release
In a move designed to bolster support for Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas the Israeli government has agreed to release 250 Palestinian prisoners. This only makes sense. I mean, come on, governments can’t just grab people off the streets and inter them indefinitely without any charges being filed or granting the prisoners access to legal representation and a fair trial. Right? They can’t, can they? I mean, what civilized nation in the year 2007 would do such a thing?
Meanwhile Back in the U.K.
Metallica front-man/hellion James Hetfield was detained by airport security for wearing a “Taliban-esque” beard. Reminds me of a column Maxim once ran called “Bum or Rock-Star” in which photographs of famous rock musicians were juxtaposed with photographs of homeless people.
Meanwhile Back in America
Well if you didn’t already know it Alberto Gonzalez, the U.S. Attorney General and George W. Bush’s favorite bed-buddy, is a liar. In the latest blow to his already shaky (maybe non-existent is a better word) credibility it has been revealed that only days before testifying that there had been no verified civil rights violations Gonzales had indeed reviewed memos detailing abuses. The highest attorney in the land has again utilized the slippery double-speak of the Bush administration to try and worm out from under the charges. And these guys accused Clinton of being slippery. At least Bill was better at it.
The Law Comes to Chico
And right here in our own sleepy little berg it’s been decided that we need more law in order to regulate, of all things, mosh pits and parties. A new ordinance has already been passed giving police more authority to quell aggressive parties and an ordinance regulating slam-dancing is being considered by the council.
Death of an Anarchist
I used to fancy myself a bit of an anarchist but lately I have to admit I’ve changed my tune. Over the course of the past year I have been exposed to a portion of that minor percentage of the population for which the bulk of laws are created - assholes. I’ve simply run across too many assholes who, were there no laws, would wreck it for the rest of us. Thanks a lot jerks.
Sugar Highs and Artificial Lows
Pop Tart Melt-Down!
Sometimes I like to pretend I stay above the fray but honestly I’m just like everyone else – I can’t keep my eyes off a train wreck - and both Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan have been heaping on extra helpings of guilty pleasure.
The wonderfully trashy Ms. Spears has decided it would be a good idea to fire her entire management and handle her own business affairs. Days after the management massacre she was seen leaving a restaurant followed by a couple of somewhat seedy looking business-men grinning from ear to ear and holding piles of signed documents. One can only speculate as to what genius financial dealings the “Toxic” superstar has signed onto. After the business lunch Britney and a friend decided it would be a fun time to strip down to their panties and bras – with the paparazzi in tow – and take an afternoon dip in the chilly Pacific Ocean on Malibu Bay. Once again Britney is blazing new trails of professionalism.
In slightly more troubling news just two weeks out of rehab, and making a big show out of her sobriety, Lindsay Lohan has been arrested for driving under the influence and possession and trafficking of narcotics. It seems that the hard-partying just turned twenty-one year old actress chased down the mother of her former personal assistant, who had quit only the day before, and proceeded to get into a heated argument with the terrified woman. Not initially understanding that it was Lohan behind her the woman called the police and the rest is history. Lohan failed the field sobriety test, blew a .13 blood alcohol count, and then police searched her Denali and founded a bag of cocaine. Note to Lindsay – if you’re going to get drunk and chase down your former staff’s parents make sure and leave your blow at home!
I don’t know what to think of these young starlets. Honestly I can’t imagine how I would’ve acted if I’d been rich and famous and had photographers following my every move before I was even of legal drinking age. Thank god I don’t have to. I suppose that may be attractive to younger people but honestly I don’t think celebrity is all its cracked up to be – especially when the celebrity comes so young and, at least in the case of Ms.Spears, with so little actual substance behind it. My juries still undecided on Lohan – she might be a relatively talented actress. Hopefully someday she’ll get her head screwed on straight and allow us to find out.
The Dumb of Now and a Fluff-Based Economy
The gasoline companies did it. I distinctly recall having the conversation a couple of years ago when gas prices went up to $2.25 per gallon. Then everyone was relieved when the prices dropped back down to $1.99. A friend of mine and I decided it was only a matter of time before they’d pull the same stunt with $3.00/gallon prices and well, that time came pretty darn quick if you ask me. It isn’t even subtle. They raise the prices up to nearly three and a half dollars a gallon and then drop it down to $2.99 and people on the local news are going “oh it’s so great that gas prices are dropping.” They aren’t dropping people. They are going through the fucking roof and the oil industry is once again making record profits. Come on – I’m all for living in the moment but lets not turn our brains off in the process or our asses will really start getting sore.
I have to tell you that the time is coming to start getting our spending under control. Put money in the bank, or maybe even under your mattress. Get those credit cards paid down. Forsake the $5 cups of coffee and the $60 phone bills. This fluff-based, debt-driven, consumption-fueled economy is just a few interest points away from crumbling and a few more away from collapsing entirely. Everything is tied to gasoline prices and right now the Feds are pulling out rabbits from their hats to keep inflation from igniting. The rabbit population is starting to wane.
Ah Manton
A world away from all this artificial Hollywood consumption is only an hour and a half from Chico in the sprawling foothill community that is Manton, California. 2 Drink and I were privileged enough to share a bill with the Liz Merry Aaron Standish comedy troupe and it was a refreshing and thoroughly enjoyable experience. We played in a hundred-plus year old building called the Manton Corners that reminded me of photos I’ve seen of the Grand Ol Opry back in the 1940’s. The crowd was boisterous and welcoming and it was a show I’ll never forget. Can’t wait to get back up there, maybe someday for good.
Sometimes I like to pretend I stay above the fray but honestly I’m just like everyone else – I can’t keep my eyes off a train wreck - and both Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan have been heaping on extra helpings of guilty pleasure.
The wonderfully trashy Ms. Spears has decided it would be a good idea to fire her entire management and handle her own business affairs. Days after the management massacre she was seen leaving a restaurant followed by a couple of somewhat seedy looking business-men grinning from ear to ear and holding piles of signed documents. One can only speculate as to what genius financial dealings the “Toxic” superstar has signed onto. After the business lunch Britney and a friend decided it would be a fun time to strip down to their panties and bras – with the paparazzi in tow – and take an afternoon dip in the chilly Pacific Ocean on Malibu Bay. Once again Britney is blazing new trails of professionalism.
In slightly more troubling news just two weeks out of rehab, and making a big show out of her sobriety, Lindsay Lohan has been arrested for driving under the influence and possession and trafficking of narcotics. It seems that the hard-partying just turned twenty-one year old actress chased down the mother of her former personal assistant, who had quit only the day before, and proceeded to get into a heated argument with the terrified woman. Not initially understanding that it was Lohan behind her the woman called the police and the rest is history. Lohan failed the field sobriety test, blew a .13 blood alcohol count, and then police searched her Denali and founded a bag of cocaine. Note to Lindsay – if you’re going to get drunk and chase down your former staff’s parents make sure and leave your blow at home!
I don’t know what to think of these young starlets. Honestly I can’t imagine how I would’ve acted if I’d been rich and famous and had photographers following my every move before I was even of legal drinking age. Thank god I don’t have to. I suppose that may be attractive to younger people but honestly I don’t think celebrity is all its cracked up to be – especially when the celebrity comes so young and, at least in the case of Ms.Spears, with so little actual substance behind it. My juries still undecided on Lohan – she might be a relatively talented actress. Hopefully someday she’ll get her head screwed on straight and allow us to find out.
The Dumb of Now and a Fluff-Based Economy
The gasoline companies did it. I distinctly recall having the conversation a couple of years ago when gas prices went up to $2.25 per gallon. Then everyone was relieved when the prices dropped back down to $1.99. A friend of mine and I decided it was only a matter of time before they’d pull the same stunt with $3.00/gallon prices and well, that time came pretty darn quick if you ask me. It isn’t even subtle. They raise the prices up to nearly three and a half dollars a gallon and then drop it down to $2.99 and people on the local news are going “oh it’s so great that gas prices are dropping.” They aren’t dropping people. They are going through the fucking roof and the oil industry is once again making record profits. Come on – I’m all for living in the moment but lets not turn our brains off in the process or our asses will really start getting sore.
I have to tell you that the time is coming to start getting our spending under control. Put money in the bank, or maybe even under your mattress. Get those credit cards paid down. Forsake the $5 cups of coffee and the $60 phone bills. This fluff-based, debt-driven, consumption-fueled economy is just a few interest points away from crumbling and a few more away from collapsing entirely. Everything is tied to gasoline prices and right now the Feds are pulling out rabbits from their hats to keep inflation from igniting. The rabbit population is starting to wane.
Ah Manton
A world away from all this artificial Hollywood consumption is only an hour and a half from Chico in the sprawling foothill community that is Manton, California. 2 Drink and I were privileged enough to share a bill with the Liz Merry Aaron Standish comedy troupe and it was a refreshing and thoroughly enjoyable experience. We played in a hundred-plus year old building called the Manton Corners that reminded me of photos I’ve seen of the Grand Ol Opry back in the 1940’s. The crowd was boisterous and welcoming and it was a show I’ll never forget. Can’t wait to get back up there, maybe someday for good.
Some Cultures are Wrong
I stopped eating meat about a year and a half ago. It was Barbaro, that magnificent Kentucky Derby winning racehorse who broke his mind leg in the Preakness, that triggered the decision. It’s a personal decision and one that works for me at this point in my life.
I try to avoid the politics of it all but with Michael Vick and professional dog-fighting making daily headlines I guess the time has come to write about my decision and about this schism in our society.
It has been said that a society is only as good as it treats its poorest, most helpless citizens and I would argue that how a society treats animals is also an indication of the culture. On both these fronts I am afraid that the good old U.S. of A is not doing so hot.
It isn’t eating meat that I have a problem with – in fact I’ve eaten duck a friend of mine shot. I figure that the duck was living free and had a good life before it was killed. I would eat an animal if I knew it had been treated humanely, lived a good life, and been slaughtered in a conscientious manner. Instead most of the meat we eat comes from factory farms. The animals spend their lives in cages pumped full of antibiotics so they don’t die from infections that spread like wild-fire, scared and living in squalor. The separation between American consumers and what we eat bothers me. I think if most of us saw the inside of a slaughterhouse we would probably never eat meat again – and we know this. So what do we do? We generally do our best to avoid understanding where our food comes from. We are willfully ignorant about the fuel we put into our bodies everyday.
You know in my mind there is no doubt that animals feel. My wife and I are admittedly dog nuts. Our two dogs Billy and Pooh Pooh are a part of our family. To the extreme. They sleep in bed with us, they sit on the furniture. They have transcended the title of “dogs” and become little four-legged people who can’t speak properly and wear fur coats year round. But I know they feel. They get scared during thunderstorms, they get happy when we are happy. The can sometimes be anxious, lonely, or depressed.
I can’t imagine how these dogs who are forced to participate in dog-fights feel when the fight is over. Brutalized, torn apart, injured, dying – forsaken by the masters that they loved, trained, fought, and died for. And then these beautiful animals are just cast aside like trash. I just can’t understand it. I do understand the argument that dog-fights are part of a culture – but to me that just calls into question the character and validity of an entire culture. Saying it is part of a culture doesn’t make it right. Racism, sexism, and child molestation are all part of cultures –sickening and disgusting cultures that should be abolished. Some cultures are just dead wrong and a culture that brutalizes animals for entertainment is one of these.
I try to avoid the politics of it all but with Michael Vick and professional dog-fighting making daily headlines I guess the time has come to write about my decision and about this schism in our society.
It has been said that a society is only as good as it treats its poorest, most helpless citizens and I would argue that how a society treats animals is also an indication of the culture. On both these fronts I am afraid that the good old U.S. of A is not doing so hot.
It isn’t eating meat that I have a problem with – in fact I’ve eaten duck a friend of mine shot. I figure that the duck was living free and had a good life before it was killed. I would eat an animal if I knew it had been treated humanely, lived a good life, and been slaughtered in a conscientious manner. Instead most of the meat we eat comes from factory farms. The animals spend their lives in cages pumped full of antibiotics so they don’t die from infections that spread like wild-fire, scared and living in squalor. The separation between American consumers and what we eat bothers me. I think if most of us saw the inside of a slaughterhouse we would probably never eat meat again – and we know this. So what do we do? We generally do our best to avoid understanding where our food comes from. We are willfully ignorant about the fuel we put into our bodies everyday.
You know in my mind there is no doubt that animals feel. My wife and I are admittedly dog nuts. Our two dogs Billy and Pooh Pooh are a part of our family. To the extreme. They sleep in bed with us, they sit on the furniture. They have transcended the title of “dogs” and become little four-legged people who can’t speak properly and wear fur coats year round. But I know they feel. They get scared during thunderstorms, they get happy when we are happy. The can sometimes be anxious, lonely, or depressed.
I can’t imagine how these dogs who are forced to participate in dog-fights feel when the fight is over. Brutalized, torn apart, injured, dying – forsaken by the masters that they loved, trained, fought, and died for. And then these beautiful animals are just cast aside like trash. I just can’t understand it. I do understand the argument that dog-fights are part of a culture – but to me that just calls into question the character and validity of an entire culture. Saying it is part of a culture doesn’t make it right. Racism, sexism, and child molestation are all part of cultures –sickening and disgusting cultures that should be abolished. Some cultures are just dead wrong and a culture that brutalizes animals for entertainment is one of these.
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