The Power of the Pimp Stash

I wish I had a pencil-thin mustache…

So with the encouragement of my wife I have cut my facial hair into the classic pencil-thin Errol Flynn style mustache. My facial hair is lighter – more red than brown – so it doesn’t show up as good as say a jet black pinner might but you get the idea. It’s like a skinny little caterpillar perched on the upper rim of my lip. I like it. I shaved my beard into the pimp stash this morning and promptly ran a red light on the way to work. Then I started to notice something. Other guys with the same style mustache were smiling at me from their cars. And they were strange cars – primer gray gremlins and half-way restored Rancheros. Most of them wore their pimp stashes better than I am wearing mine but they’ve likely been at it longer and they all seem to cut me some slack.

I passed a mother and daughter. The young girl started crying and the mother’s mouth dropped open in horror as she tried to shield her child’s innocent eyes from my clearly experienced lip. I sneered and hit the gas. Is it me or does my truck’s engine sound a little beefier today? Not to mention my trousers aren’t fitting properly – they’ve become seriously tight in the crotch-region.

Throughout the day I notice this peculiar phenomenon. Out of four women three are mortified by my facial doo. No matter – clearly for those confident enough to sport the pimp stash it’s the fourth woman that interests them. Something like melting happens. These “fourth women” have dyed hair, tattoos, dark sunglasses and no bras. They wear tight jeans and short skirts, tank tops and tube tops. They are always looking for a good time and now I’m in their club. It makes me feel a little dirty and I like it.

Look for more about the exploits of me and my furry new friend in up-coming columns.

Death and Taxes

It’s that time of year ago when the land of the living and the land of the dead are in close proximity. We can see it in the trees and in the harvest. I dreamed last night of a friend of mine who passed away a little less than a year ago. He looked good – well nourished and thick. He said things in the dream that I’d never heard before but that seemed authentic. Towards the end of our conversation I broke down and hugged him and told him how much I missed him and then he was gone and I found myself staring up at the stars in the clear fall sky. Then I experienced a strange feeling of emptiness and content. How can you have both? Maybe someday I’ll get to ask the Buddha or wise King Solomon that question. Maybe someday I won’t care what the answer is.

In addition to communing with the dead and reaping the last fruits of our harvest it is also once again for us to pay our taxes. You don’t want to jump into those things too early. The reality of it is we’ve already paid the taxes anyway and we’ve only procrastinated in getting our refund. I feel like I’m doing my part as a patriot by lagging on collecting my refund and letting the Government accrue the interest for an extra six months. The way our government’s fiscal house is starting to crumble they need it more than the next guy!

Art Rocks!

We had the opportunity to play at another of the on-going Crux event Art Rock. These inter-active happenings combine live music with the creation of art. Basically you can show up and paint, draw, sculpt, whatever medium you work in, while a local band or musician performs accompanying music for your inspiration. It is really an amazing thing to be a part of and I fully encourage anyone with the impetus to get out there and be a part of this unique event. My understanding is that the Crux holds these gatherings every Friday and then whatever comes out of the Friday night session is displayed in the gallery for the Art Walk that takes place the next day. The Crux is located on Broadway across the street from Nobby’s and the Off Limits.

The Pimp Stash Strikes Again!

Well a particularly cute little red-head is vying for the attention of my new lip adornment so I’m wrapping this up as quick as I can. More exploits of the pimp stash as they transpire. Have a great week – I know I will.