Cooking Candy for Violent Babies

Taking Several Readings...

I really don't know what is going on. Trish just explained to me that there is some temperature the oil must reach, and that she thinks we have a meat thermometer somewhere; but then she thought a candy thermometer might really do the trick. We do not have one of those. I feel like I've heard that you can't let the oil get too hot. We talked about how to measure the height of a particular oak tree in the yard by using paces, and a protractor, and a formula involving a triangle. It all sounds like it could work out fine. It sounds like, if someone knew what the hell they were doing, it would work out fine. That's not our current situation.

Confusion is all around us these days. I mean, you turn on the television or pick up the newspaper, and you cannot really figure out what the hell is going on. Fortunately I spent a lot of years of my life in a state of perpetual confusion; I've got this, I have been here before. There is a collective thing going on that makes this confusion slightly different - you've got a whole bunch of confused people all being confused together. That sort of wild and subdued energy can manifest itself in some bizarre and interesting ways. Still, I've got confidence when it comes to confusion. Over here, follow me.

So when you cook, your ingredients have to reach a certain temperature – so that the different chemicals can melt and congeal. Cooking is chemistry and art. A good cook is a chemist. Sugars, oils, fats, plant material (starch?); heat, temperature.

Things are cooking; you can smell smoke in the air.

Violent Babies

We start out brutal. No matter what we do, elegance develops over time, and with practice. We all start out heavy-handed, clunky, and generally violent. Think of your average baby. Sure, they have their moments, peace, and innocence; then in between there is the rage, the torment, the anguish and the destruction. I don't think we ever get completely under control, but we develop patience, and we learn to act more gently.

I mean we all do, as individuals, as nations, as cities, states, as a whole people, as the human race – we are continually improving upon a really shaky start. I keep wanting to write that we aren't perfect yet – but that's not precisely how I feel. I think we are perfect, we only have to figure that out. It's like there is some form embedded in this beautiful, coarse chunk of rock; and we are continually chipping off the exterior pieces of stone to reveal the underlying skeleton.

Details are Murky...

I was planning to get more precise with this, and to give greater, detailed explanations of strategies and philosophies, but now I'm seven or eight “banquet beers” in, and the details of strategies are evaporating like so much heated vinegar.

So for now, I'm just going to forget it – simply ride the thing out to... who knows where? Who cares? I may end up shell-shocked and out of it, stuck between the couch and the wall, drooling, coughing, puking. I'm just going to ride the thing out, for now, and see where it takes me.

madbob@madbob.com